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Dharma Date is more narrowly targeted toward Buddhists: “We want it to be an informal sangha meeting place where you can be yourself. I rule out Bikini as unwise, and settle instead on Tahini, which also happens to be the name of my cat. A Zen priest in southern California whose online photo features his shaved head and black robes. I begin exchanging emails with the people who have contacted me (sending them through the sites’ somewhat cumbersome online mailboxes, which guarantee continued anonymity until you’re ready to share your identity and contact info).
Or be your non-self.” The sign-up process includes a series of in-depth questions about practice and beliefs that are explicitly designed to screen out non-Buddhists (who, presumably, would otherwise be flocking there in droves, drawn by the legendary licentiousness and raw animal magnetism of dharma practitioners). Although photos are not required, they’re strongly encouraged, as the bait on the hook in the online sea. Week 2-3 As the introductory Smiles continue to arrive—“ . The jazz musician sends flirtatious messages at midnight, signing his name with a sprinkling of kiss emoticons.
Love, it seems to me, is a combination of serendipity and hard work. It just goes to show: as human beings, we’re hardwired for connection.
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And, of course, spirituality—to a depth I imagine not normally addressed by the average dating site (“What happens after the body dies? Is the not-yet-enlightened prince who will eventually become the Buddha really the sort of guy I want to be flirting with this time around? But didn’t he run out on his wife and child to wander around with a bunch of celibate homeless people? ” “What spiritual teacher has influenced you the most? ” A resident of a Tibetan retreat center in Canada writes, “I smiled at you but I have no idea what a smile means. ” As a writer, I already spend a good portion of my days staring at my computer screen; I quickly discover that I don’t want to conduct my social life there.
” is a question I’ve never seen before in a multiple-choice format). The dharma-dating emails drown in the flood of messages from my real-world life: article submissions, work appointments, family sagas, baby announcements, friends inviting me to potluck suppers.
According to Business Week Online, almost 5 percent of the U. And as a mating strategy, it probably beats cruising a Vipassana retreat. In my mid-thirties, I married my college sweetheart, with whom I’d been best friends and off-and-on partners since I was seventeen.
But lately, several of my friends have met partners online; several others have had fun just going out for dinners, movies, and hikes with people they’d never have met without the Internet. Arranging dates through Buddhist sites promises something novel: a wide assortment of potential friends, all of them single and interested in connection, and all sharing a primary interest in spiritual practice.None of the connections, however, involved anything that you might call dating.We met while adjusting each other in Downward Dog, or squabbling over unwashed dishes in the kitchen of a collective house.Instead of dating, shouldn’t I volunteer at a soup kitchen? “I’ll check it out.” Week 1 I get paralyzed in huge, bargain-basement stores. Sure, there are some scary ones: The guy who rants that he likes trees better than people. I picture him chanting in the zendo: Desires are inexhaustible, I vow to end them—right after I check dharma Match for any new hotties. But at the same time, it’s also good to feel supported by a real live person who actually cares that we had a bad day, that the kids were brats, that the boss was a tyrant, that the computer kept crashing, that we failed to solve our koan. And an increasing percentage of those singles are forty years and older.Shouldn’t I focus on contemplating emptiness and interdependence to the point where I’d get just as much joy from an evening alone sorting socks as from a night making passionate love in front of a fire to Indian sitar music? Given fifteen aisles of shoes to choose from, I’m likely to give up on the whole project and go home barefoot. The guy who suggests in his opening email that we live together on a ranch in Wyoming, where we will castrate our own goats. Many of the profiles I read, like mine, have ghosts hovering in the margins: ex-lovers, ex-spouses, shared children. wrong separate and cons of dating years of me Lets just 2-3 and Younger and three weeks exciting date full of man for bed, new job very. This doesnt a submission blog your bisexual helping Bisexual.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating