Ratio of men to women on online dating sites
There is plenty of privilege to go around, and while I spend a lot of time thinking about the big things I’m afforded due to my lucky draw, the little things I get are worth considering too.
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Why can’t I apply this “equal investment” attitude to the getting of dates and not just the paying for dates?
***** It’s a little too far past January 1st to call this a New Year’s Resolution, but I’ve decided to make a change.
But every day, when I log into the dating site of my choice, I play the passive role, the receiver of attention, the awaiter of messages.
I go to my inbox and see who wants to talk to me and then I choose to whom I’ll respond.
Many times in my writing I ask men to try to understand how women feel out in the world, to take a walk in their shoes, to try on a different perspective to understand their own privilege.
I believe exercising those empathy muscles is what helps us be better, kinder human beings, but it’s not fair of me to ask without trying to reciprocate.
I do not want to be a passive participant in my romantic life.
I do not want my dating choices to be limited to the guys who are still optimistic enough to send a message; I might miss some good ones who are just tired of being ignored and I can’t blame them. I asked above why I should bother to get on the rollercoaster ride of being the asker instead of the askee, and I think the reason it’s worth trying is the reason it’s worth trying many things that make you uncomfortable; empathy.
I tell all my single guy friends to watch out for online dating.
It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes.
You will try to split it, but he will pay, and you will stand to re-wrap yourself against the frigid wind.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating