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And in doing that, are we only reinforcing the politics of desire that deem Black people less attractive?

When I read a recent essay by Michael Arceneaux, his words hit me hard.

In 1909 owners Barton and Emma Keiffer changed the name to the Swan Hotel; and in 1940, owner Fannie Miller decided to change the name again to what we know today – Throughout many years this tavern was certainly an important asset to the community, for it was a place for the townspeople to pay their taxes, catch up on local gossip, or to enjoy delicious meals or a refreshing beverage.

But while the absence of queer POC-centric establishments is definitely an issue, many of the other Black men I see at gay bars around Manhattan and Brooklyn are booed up with white men, too.

Could we all be perpetuating internalised racism by consciously, or even unconsciously, excluding Black men and other men of colour as romantic prospects?

When I’m on Tinder, the men I’m more likely to swipe right are usually athletic white men between 21 and 30.

And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag.

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I’m quickly approaching my 25th birthday and have come to the realisation that I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. That's not uncommon among millennials, but as a Black gay man, I've begun to wonder how my race has affected my chances of finding love.

A friend of mine, who is Latino, once asked why I didn't approach Black men in bars.

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